Precious Daughter, I have searched your heart and examined your mind in order to reward you according to your conduct and deeds (Jeremiah 17:10).  Why do you fear what I have asked you to do?  There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment (1 John 4:18). Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?  Yet not one of them is forgotten by me.  The very hairs on you head are numbered.  Do not be afraid:  You are worth more than many sparrows! (Luke 12:6-7) .  If you trust me with all your heart and not with your own understanding, I will make all your paths clear and straight (Proverbs 3:5)  I know all the things you worry about but I ask you not to worry about your life and the things you need.  Don't you know I know you need theses things? And isn't life about more than that?  Look at the birds in the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet I provide for them.  Are you not more valuable than they? (Matthew 6:25-26) The treasures you want to store up on this earth can be destroyed by moths, and rust, or stolen. Instead, store up treasures for heaven where none of these things can take it away.  If you want to know what your treasure is, then simply look at your heart.  Because where your heart is, there your treasure will be also (Matthew 6:19-21). At times, you look to the wisdom of this world and those who do not know me.  But the wisdom of this world is foolish in my eyes and is always brought to light with me (1 Corinthians 3:19).  So, do not let anyone deceive you with empty words, because God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient (Ephesians 5:6).  Do not be foolish, but understand what MY will is (Ephesians 5:17).  Once you lived in darkness but now you are light in me.  Live as a child of light and find what pleases me! Stop having business with the fruitless deeds of darkness, instead expose them! (Ephesians 5:8-11).  With all that said, I know the road I am asking you to take is narrow and the gate is small.  But the broad road and wide gate, that is so tempting and most takes, leads to destruction and unhappiness.  Few will find true happiness and joy because it can only be found on the narrow road (Matthew 7:13-14) I gave you a direction and purpose in life before you were even born (Jeremiah 1:5) I have called you by name to follow me (John 10:3). And if you don't, you will soon realize your life is worth nothing if you have not completed the task I've assigned to you- the task of testifying to my salvation and love (Acts 20:24). When it all seems too complicated, too confusing, and just too hard to do, remember I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgement of God (Hosea 6:6) It's really that simple.  Above all, know that you were created to love and need me and no peace will come upon your soul until you rest in me. I love you sweet child and gave my life so that you could live. Trust that I have your best interest at heart. With all my Love,   Your Creator       Since being here I have really searched out the truths of God.  I needed to rid myself of the doubts and fears I have of surrendering to the call on my life.  I know missions is a part of that calling. Since being here, I have been reassured that the life God has planned for me and my family is much more satisfying than the one I have conjured up.  It will bring joy and peace and comfort in the midst of uncertainty.  I have always felt a call towards missions since I was a little girl in GA's (for those who aren't southern Baptist, this is part of a program that starts as a pre-schooler and ends as a teen.  You learn all about missions).  Anyways, it all started then and has been confirmed many times in my life.  But while I was in college and Joey and I started getting serious, I thought of what this would mean for my family.  I didn't want to have those weird missionary kids who were home schooled and didn't know what McDonald's was!  But God is good, and he's shown me that my kids don't have to be weird and unable to relate.  I've had the opportunity to get to know these families and see that they are amazing people, true heroes of the faith.  Not only do their children relate and have fun, they are sweet and tenderhearted.  They will grow up having a deeper since of trust in God by witnessing their Mom's and Dad's living out faith and obedience.  I've learned they have a different understanding of life and love.  Kenya has been a time of sweet fellowship and getting to know sisters of my own heart.  I'm reminded that relationships and friendships that are grounded in Christ run far deeper than any relationship, no matter how long, that only has surface value.  Mostly, I'm just okay with knowing that I don't need to know how things will turn out, because even if I plan it still won't end my way.  I will take one step at a time and trust that my God is able to protect and provide and even pour out blessings on me and my family.    Signing out from Kenya; a place that will always have a special piece of my heart and soul.  And to the sweet Kenyans who poured out their appreciation and welcome to our family; thank you.