Monday, September 14, 2009

A day I'll never forget

So, the day I dread weeks before it comes is finally here. September 14. There have been some years that got close to me forgetting the date but it's never just come and gone without a second thought. It looms around and shadows the whole first part of my September. It's the day my mom left this life and entered eternity. A day that will always be at the top of my list for one of the greatest privileges of my life along with one of the greatest losses of my life. Nothing can quite describe the honor I felt to be next to my mom, after a 2 year battle with breast cancer and a month of hospice, as she took her final breath and met her Jesus face to face. I wish this day was filled with the memories of the years that she spent cheering me on, encouraging me to be a Godly woman, watching her carry my little sister and giving birth to her, watching her grow in her faith, and loving her family unconditionally. But today I always remember the end and the fight and the struggle and the days that led up to her last moments on earth.

As other hard things are going on in our lives today, I needed this day to roll around to remind me that God is faithful to those who love him. He has a plan to give us good and to prosper his children. In my mother's death I learned those lessons. That she didn't really have the losing end of the deal, but the most glorious. She got to be in the presence of the Almighty God that had created and loved her since the beginning of time. He showed that love by dying on the cross for her while she was still a sinner. Her death was not in vain. It was used to turn the hearts of people back to God. I've seen those changed lives. Today, I needed to be reminded that God loves me and you in that same way. He has plan, even in our brokenness.

Mama, I'm overwhelmed with the knowledge that I never have to question where you are. I knew that you were a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ and that was the most important gift you could have given to me. Assurance in your salvation. I've realized that anyone can make an impression but it's much harder to make an impact. You certainly impacted the world around you. I'm proud to call you my mother. I love you and miss you more than any words can express...