I Did IT!!!

I didn't post this sooner because of all the hype that surrounds it and I needed the hype to wear off so you'd be impressed. Let me preface my accomplishment with this..... after my 45lbs weight gain (maybe more, the last time I weighed I decided not to get back on the scale until I had the bun out of the oven!) I decided I needed to get motivated to lose it and follow through with a goal I set before B was born. I had been in the beginning of training for Race for the Cure in 2006 when I found out I was preggo and started having complications soon after so I stopped running. I have always been slim and in good shape but not endurance kind of good shape. So a 5K was a challenge. I wanted to do it for my mother's memory. Five weeks after B was born I started back. Well, I ran Race for the Cure (not admitting that time on here, sorry)! My goal was not to stop running no matter how slow I went. After that race I still had maybe 15lbs to go so I made another goal. Cooper River Bridge Run. A 10K! And I did it again!!! My 58 year old Father-in-law beat my time, but the point is that I finished victoriously!!! I look a little rough so give me a break :) And by the way, I lost all of that baby weight before she turned a year!!

He goes before me

So many things are changing in our lives. Well, not yet but we are preparing for change. I have come to embrace change since my life has been in constant motion since 17 years old. I no longer fear the unknown but anxiously await what's in store. I'm no super hero, there are times when I'm scared to death because I don't know if I can handle the outcome. Truly what other choice do any of us have other than to deal with things? We all deal in one way or another. Since starting our adoption I have had to deal with so many feelings that were tucked way back in the corners of my soul and hadn't been dealt with in a while. I mostly have just been overwhelmed by the great need in this world and the small few who are willing to face it and step up to it. The other night I just had to get the burden off and feel the power of God in my life and in this world. Joey and I were lying in bed and thinking how crazy it is that our child maybe here on earth but we aren't with them. And then all the circumstances and possibilities came rushing to my mind as to why my child is an orphan. Why can't their parents care for them? Were they sick? Did they die? How did they feel knowing they weren't going to raise their child? Will my child have siblings that we don't know about?....... I just couldn't carry this around with me, I needed to DO something about it. So I just prayed, out loud, for the first time in a long time and poured my heart out and felt God and his sovereignty over all things. I felt the power of my prayer. I am confident that he is with my child and his/her family right now. This verse is what set off my blogging today, let it encourage you in whatever unknowns you might be facing.....

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

Risen

Christmas is my favorite holiday season for many reasons; the birth of Christ, my anniversary, my husband's birthday, my sisters' birthday, the birth of my child, the music, parties....the list could go on. As I get older Christmas is taking a backseat to Easter. For the Christian, Christmas is reason to celebrate but Easter is where our salvation rest. It is because of the resurrection that we have hope and conquer death! During this Holy Week God has given me many quiet moments to think about the significance of everything from Palm Sunday to Good Friday to Easter Sunday. It's kind of like the finale of God's redemptive plan that was set in place from the first day of creation! Words can never describe what Christ is to me, there is simply no mere word that can utter my hearts deep gratitude. Knowing Him intimately is my treasure because He has been my closest friend, a father, a mother , my Savior, a comforter, ,leader, and forgiver. He has freed me from all the things in this life that could tie me down and drown my happiness. No circumstance in this life has ever changed his faithfulness to me. How can you write words to show thanks. Well, one song comes close to it and it's my favorite. If you passed me on the road when listening to this you'd see my hands raised high and think I'm waving at you but really just giving thanks.....

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

‘Til on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life’s first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand‘til He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Kenya, Here we come.......

So, we have finally gotten a clear answer on our African trip. If you received our Christmas Newsletter you know that we were planning a family mission trip to Kenya this summer, but a few days after Christmas a civil war broke out and the trip was put in a "holding" phase. Plans started to uproot after the missionary family that we knew left the country due to her pregnancy and the uncertainty of one of Africa's most stable countries. After much consideration and a recent resolution, The Patrick family is headed to the highlands of Kenya to Bomet. We are disappointed that we won't be in-country with the McGees but are certain the Lord is more than enough to sustain us on this trip. We will be there for 7 weeks and Joey will be working at the hospital. It is primarily staffed by Kenyans but through several world mission organizations it welcomes and depends on short-term Western and European physicians and residents. There are a few full-time Western staffers but mostly volunteers like our family.
We will be living on the missionary compound with all the other missionaries which is a blessing but also a little disappointing to me. I would love to be engulfed by the culture of this country but also grateful to have others to relate to and rely on. I will have "helpers" that stay daily and help with Bethany, housework, and cooking. Everything has to be made from scratch so these women will help me learn to really cook!! I can use my helpers as little or as much as possible. If I want to really help in the orphanage or hospital these wonderful ladies will act as a "nanny" for Bethany. I'm not sure which direction I'll take with this but it's nice to have the option. I'm missing so many details but will save some for later. I really just wanted to put this out there and get some prayer for our family. Check out the link. It will provide some information if your curious.

Adoption....

"Adoption is not the answer to HIV/AIDS in Africa. Adoption rescues few. Adption illuminate by example: these few once-loved children- who lost their parents to preventable diseases- have been offered a second chane at family life in foreign conuntries; like young ambassadors, they instruct us. From them, we gain impresssions about what their age-mates must be like, the ones living and dying by the millions, without parents, in the cities and villages of Africa. For every orphan turing up ina northern-hemisphere household- winning the spelling bee, winng the cross-country race, joining the Boy Scouts, learning to rollerblade, laying the trumpet or the violin- ten thousand African children remain behind alone."
Melissa Faye Greene, There is No Me Without You

So much greif covers this wonderful thing that is going to happen to our family. Sometimes I feel sick knowing that my child will not be mine due to abuse and intentional neglect, like so many here in USA., but by death or famine. The birthparents don't want to lose their children but can't provide for them or leave this earth far too soon. Would I be strong enough to make that kind of sacrifice?? To send my child to perfect strangers and entrust that they will love and care for her? Doubt it.

Ethiopia

Gosh, I have so much to blog about, our upcoming trip to Africa, our baby's first birthday:), Christmas, Greenwood. But the one that hangs in my heart is Ethiopia. We are in the beginnings of "making" our next baby!! God has taken us by the hands and lead us straight to this country and said, "This is where your next child is". I know it's hard to understand but probably at some point in your lives God has so loudly spoken about something (if not yet, He will). We are sending our formal application in to Bethany Christian Services tomorrow and the real deal starts at that moment. After this we will wait for our homestudy to be completed and the dossier (country paperwork) and this is sent to Ethiopia and then we wait for them to refer us to our child.
It's been interesting to hear some of our friends and family's concerns and encouragement. The most surprising is some of the closest to us avoid speaking about Ethiopia. So let me put it out there, we are a white family requesting an African child...just the facts. I know that if some of you feel like you can't love this child like our own offspring but I'm confident God will show you the kind of love He shows us. After all we, as Gentiles, were adopted into His heritage.
I have so much to say but don't want to make this a total deep post so I"ll save some for later. Check out this article that touches my heart http://www.parade.com/articles/editions/2008/edition_01-13-2008/Finding_My_Daughter

This one's for you Hannah!

So, I'm updating our blog b/c I was informed by a close friend that it's time to update. We are all settled into our new home in Greenwood! It's been quite an adjustment. Joey just enjoyed his first day off after 28 days of working, but with that saide, he absolutely loves it! B and I are learning the ropes around here and trying to find things to get into:) We are still visiting churches but have made some great friends in the process. Hope this blog finds you well (Hannah!)

Tia

Mother's Day Weekend

What an amazing day! I must admit that I milked it for all it's worth:) Poor Joey had to put up with numerous trips to the mall to find the "perfect dress" for my Mother's day and for Bethany's baby dedication only for me to return everything and wear a dress I already had. He also was worried when I didn't come home from getting my ManiPedi until after 9:00 PM on Friday night! But I must say that it really was a special day. It was sort of an initiation into the great sisterhood of all, Motherhood!
Since my Mother passed away almost 5 years ago, I, understandably, haven't enjoyed the holiday as much. She wrote me a letter while I was on my 1st mission trip in Peru during the summer after my sophomore year at Winthrop. She wrote that one day I would understand the love that a mother has for her child and understand the bond between a first born and her mother. Well, I know what my mama was talking about now. You have such an unexplainable since of pride and joy. I know in most instances that pride is considered a bad thing but not in this case.
Also, to start the weekend off, Joey graduated from medical school. Another proud moment for the wifee! He worked so hard to not only get through medical school but to excel in it. He'll get mad if I mention this but I'm going to anyways, He won a special Family Practice award that's only given to one student in the class. I'm gushing over his accomplishments!!!
Bethany also got dedicated at church on Sunday. She was such a ham at the service. She was talking to all our family beforehand and smiling and blowing bubbles. The pastor commented about how animated she was but at the time my sister-in-law said she was looking out at the congregation with a blank stare!!!:) Such a prankster.
Well, HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY to all you mom's out there. Be proud that God chose you to nurture His creation!

Restraint

Okay, so I know that there is so many ways to scam new parents, and most of the time I fall for it but this has gone too far! Every product promises to make your life easier while somehow enhancing your child's intellegence. Beware parents......never be this dumb. The baby keeper is just plain cruel to all children who must hang from the bathroom stalls as they watch you go pee!

Revolutionaries?

It has been mind-boggling to think about all the things that parenthood brings about. I mean, am I really qualified to teach this precious one about life, love, values, truth, self, and the things that really matter? And secondly, how in the world do I do this? This whole exprience has brought me to unchartered waters. It is something that scares me but keeps me on the edge of my seat. I must really search myself in order to show my little girl how to accept herself, love who she is, and most importantly find her identity in Christ. Her life holds a mirror to me. I have to accept myself, love who I am and know that my identity is in Him. It's so....mind boggling! I want her to be a revoluntionary. Afraid of nothing that the world might throw at her. Wise enough to find the truth and courageous enough to stand for it. Always realizing the value of herself and others around her. Forgiving the hurts that she might endure. And most of all being a woman of God. Me and my girl, revolutionaries?

Anyone out there?

So, I love my blog, even though I abandon it months at a time. I sometimes wonder "why do I blogg?" because I don't really think that anyone even visits. Which is okay because the blog is theraputic for myself.
Life is definetly changing and more changes are coming. In May/June we will be moving to Greenwood. Now I could do a whole other blog titled "Where in the world is Greenwood?" but I'll skip that and save it for later. We are actually really excited about it. Joey will be working at Self Regional Hospital and we'll be there for 3 years. The cool thing about this residency is that it is mission focused and serves overseas. We've met several residents and their families and I think we'll fit right in. I may need some prayers because I will be trying out the stay-at-home mom thing. And if any you know me, then you know that I'm an on-the-go type of person. So, Bethany and I are going to have to dabble in some activities. So, if you're out there keep us in your thoughts.
Enough for now, motherhood is calling. Bethany is calling for a bottle!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A new start for a New Year!

Wow! Who knew life could change forever in a single moment? Our Bethany is on her 3rd week of life and it has been crazy around here. I had a complicated pregnancy to say the least and it ended with a happy healthy baby and a big sigh of relief. Although Bethany was only 4lbs 4oz, she is a feisty little thing and reminds me that it's the smallest things in life that make the biggest impact.
The Patrick household has undergone some major adjustments. Bethany had to stay in the hospital for a few days after I was released and I cried every night because I wanted my baby girl home with me. Then she came home and I cried everynight because I didn't know if I was qualified to be a mom!!! But as we have had time to adjust to this change my joy grows beyond belief everyday and my heart has so much love that I didn't know I was even capable of having. Watching Joey be a father has been beautiful. He is so hands on and is in love with his daughter. She is definetly a daddy's girl and already has him figured out! I am so lucky to have such a wonderful family and I can't wait to see what the year brings. We'll be learning to be parents, making a move from Greenville, and discovering the next adventure that lies ahead! I can't wait!

Our Miracle....

Well it looks like God answered our prayers. We are going to have a baby! Our little girl is due January 28th. I had finally come to peace with God with our future and decided to wait on a baby and before the end of the month I found out I was pregnant! God does have a sense of humor. Needless to say there are days that I am overjoyed with a sense of priveldge that I am able to be a part of this miracle. Other days I am overwhelmed with all the uncertainty of parenthood and this new adventure Joey and I are embarking on. In the beginning of my pregnancy I had some problems and we were uncertain if I would carry this baby full-term, but God was faithful to me and calmed me when I realized everything was out of my control and in His perfect hands.
Jeremiah 1:4,5
" The word of the LORD came to me, saying,
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart; ..."
This verse got me through a lot of anxious nights and lead me to a much deeper understanding of my God. I am only her earthly mother but He is the maker of her life and gives purpose to her being! It's such a beautiful thing to be a mom!

A Fork in the Road...

(us on a bumpy road in Panama 2005)

Lately, Joey and I have been pondering, praying, and discussing decisions that we have to make in the coming year. July brings a new and last school year for Joey and then we will begin the interview process for Medical Residency lasting 3 years or taking 2 years for a foreign mission. Also talking about starting a family and how this will fit into everything. God has been teaching us seperately to trust in Him. It has taken me a while to give up this next step in our lives and put it in God's hands. "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritace....(5) You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.(11)" Psalm 15 This reminds me that life is a short but important journey. I can leave this earth satisfied with the life I've lead or leave wishing I had done more. God has a fulfilling, meaningful, and perfect plan for my life. I just have to trust in that. The funny thing is that everytime I've stepped out and really followed God he has enriched my life beyond measure. He has started a work in me that I have to finish. It's not easy thinking that God may call us to move across the country for residency or full-time missions, asking to leave behind our family and friends and all things familar to us. But the faith and trust in God and the experiences and people we will meet will fill our lives with blessings and joy! In the end, I'm the only one who stands before God to attest to my time spent in this life. I want to given my all to others because Christ gave it for me.

Always workin'

Every year SC has an HIV case management retreat. I have been for the past two years. It is normally three days long and all the HIV case managers in the state get together for fellowship and learning. This is me with my closes friends at work having a good time and enjoying Myrtle Beach.

Also, across the nation every year a fundraiser called "Dining with Friends" takes place. It is a nationwide effort to raise money for HIV care. People host dinners and socials at their homes and raise awareness and money for the cause. Greenville held it's closing party, "Red Party", at the Greenville County Museum. There was food, music, and a good time had by all. This is the girls and our dates at the Red Party. Last year we raised approximately $120,000! Federal Funding has cut our agencies budget by $60,000 this year but luckily no staff has been lost due to this. Across the state several agencies are losing staff. So, get involved and advocate for HIV care and funding!!!

Life as a Patrick

Joey and I have been in Greenville almost a year. Our first year of marriage went by too quickly. We have had so much fun learning to love and learn something new about each other daily. It is funny how many people told us the first year of marriage is one of the hardest because we have enjoyed every minute of it! We are truely blessed to have one another.

We are now preparing to go to Panama in June on a mission trip. This will be the second year of going to Panama. We will be there for 10 days and our group has tripled in size from last year! Please pray for safety and funding for the group as the group raises support for the trip.

Basketball...A Crazy Season

We had a good time watching the kids play basketball this year. Sam learned the humbleness of losing some games, Anna experienced the high of a Championship, and Kara felt the disappointment of an almost undefeated season coming to an end in the championship game. They are all really into basketball and it has been a great way to learn important life lessons!

Sunday school class

This is the College/Career Sunday school class at Hampton Heights Baptist Church. Joey and I are teaching mostly college aged young adults and are having a blast. This is us on a trip to a Greenville Growl hockey game supporting a fundraiser for a young woman in our church awaiting an intestinal transplant. We had a really good time that night.